Church of Scientology

Scientology’s Message to the World: Keep Your Filthy & Degraded Wog Hands Off Our $5,000 E-Meters!

Scientology does not want anyone who is not specially trained by Scientology to offer repairs on its e-meters. This would restrict e-meter repair to the Church of Scientology or its contracted repair facility.

In a letter to the US Copyright Office (scroll down to read), Author Services Inc. official Ryland Hawkins asserted Scientology’s position that consumers should not be able to access the e-meter because it contains software covered by a purchase agreement between the purchaser and the Church of Scientology International.

This purchase agreement, Hawkins informs us, is made by and between the purchaser and the Church of Scientology International prior to the purchase of the e-meter. This agreement specifically forbids the purchaser to open and access the e-meter in any way. Hawkins and Scientology want it to stay this way. Any idea the US Copyright Office has of allowing end users to fix their own e-meters be damned!

It is curious that Author Services International Inc. (ASI), a California for-profit company, would write the letter. ASI is the literary agent for L. Ron Hubbard’s works of fiction.

Conversely, the e-meter patent for the current Ultra Mark VIII meter is assigned to the Church of Spiritual Technology (CST) dba as The L. Ron Hubbard Library.

CST, of course, is the legally separate Scientology religious corporation which builds and maintains the purportedly nuclear-proof vaults in which Hubbard’s works are stored on stainless steel disks inside of titanium cases which are housed in the aforementioned nuclear-proof vaults. Hubbard set aside $400 million in his Will to make sure these vaults were erected. This is because, at least as we see it, Scientology is L. Ron Hubbard’s personal immortality project. Hubbard wanted his words to last even if the world itself were destroyed. This is odd to consider because Hubbard said some very strange things.

As an aside, we doubt any of the CST vaults would actually withstand a ground burst from even a very small tactical nuke. Xenu forbid that we would ever want such a thing to actually happen. But yet Scientology is so insistent that the Psych are so utterly hellbent on destroying it that who knows? Ryland Hawkins would have better served Scientology if he had written letters to Congress and the President calling for a ban on the Psychs ever getting their hands on nukes.

But no. Instead, Mr. Hawkins does not want the US Government to allow anyone to repair an e-meter except for Scientology trained persons. This sounds to us like an attempt to assert a monopoly on the vast e-meter repair business in America and we find this intolerable. Congress should act to negate Scientology’s benighted and self-serving attempt to create a monopoly on the e-meter repair business.

We think ASI wrote the letter as it collects a royalty from CST on every meter sold on behalf of the Estate of L. Ron Hubbard. Remember: Part of the design logic of Scientology is that the author must be paid royalties on everything. Even if Hubbard is long dead, he still must be paid royalties.

This letter is so amusing and yet Scientology is deadly serious about the matter. The letter shows just how reactive Scientology is about wogs opening the e-meter and accessing it. However, we have done just that with a Mark VIII in the past. Nothing impressive.

The Mark VIII scam comes down to this dirty little secret: This e-meter has a clock chip that allows it to operate for only one year. Once the year is up, the clock chip shuts down the meter and it will not operate. Scientologist must log onto the RTC website to get a clock chip reset authorization for one additional year. This requires the Scientologist to enter their IAS membership number.

The RTC computer then reviews the digital Ethics files on that particular Scientologist to see if they are in good standing with the Church of Scientology International (CSI). If they are in good standing then the clock chip is reset for one more year.

If the Scientologist is not in good standing then the clock chip will not be reset. The Scientologist must go into Ethics and pay to get handled on whatever “out ethics” situation is preventing them from getting their annual meter reset.

The only Scientologists who regularly use an e-meter by themselves are public Scientologists on SOLO NOTs. This is the level of Scientology’s Bridge where Scientologists solo audit their body thetans by use of their e-meter and telepathic communication with the BT’s.

SOLO NOTs auditors are already obligated to travel to Clearwater twice per year for sec checks (called “refreshers”) at Scientology’s Flag Land Base. Each trip costs $25,000 – $35,000 or more. The e-meter reset is an added burden.

One more thing: Scientologists on SOLO NOTs are required to purchase two meters. This is necessary in case one breaks. Imagine running a malevolent BT cluster that date-locates to 81 trillion years ago in the Defibrillator-9 Galaxy and your e-meter breaks! You’re gonna wanna have that spare e-meter in the closet. Trust us on this one: Tom Cruise keeps a spare e-meter with him at all times no matter when he travels in the world.

Per the terms of the e-meter purchase contract, CSI has the right to refund the purchase price of $5000 and take their precious e-meter back from any Scientologist.

In any case, if someone is not in good standing — say they have been reading blogs such as this marvelously informative blog — then it seems they would want their $5000 back and would be willing to return the e-meter.

However, as Scientology is always Scientology, it reserves the right to deduct money for any damage to the e-meter beyond normal wear and tear. We have no idea what constitutes normal wear and tear on the meter. For example, do BT’s damage the finish on the e-meter when they blow?

Mr. Hawkins’ letter:

The Ultra Mark VIII Purchase Contract: 

4 replies »

  1. Thanks for picking up on this, Jeffrey. They certainly wouldn’t want a method of resetting or circumventing the clock chip to be made public! On the other hand if the user is not a hardcore believer, the paperweight’s wavy needle soon gets boring. A monopoly on keeping the sheep in line.

  2. Whether it’s a mob-designed casino or a cult-designed contract, they will go to lengths and use all means to take all of your money. The house always wins.

  3. I suspect that the reason they’re using Author Services for this is that doing so avoids the term “scientology” and its reputation for fraudulence. It also makes this sound like legitimate business considerations instead of a way to get over on others in the name of “religion.”

    I find it humorous to see them whine that the regulation might be “undermining the business’ ability to control their own reputation and that of their product.” What are they afraid of? That someone open up this gimmick and see that it’s a stone cold ripoff? That they overpaid by about $4,950? Times two, of course.

    Equally ludicrous is the idea that it’s the place of the law to make sure that a business can “control their own reputation and that of their product.” The whole point of business/product reputation is to allow consumers to buy promising products from proven sources and avoid doing business with Madoff, party with Masterson or Epstein and get religion with scientology. Reputations are earned, not legislated! And if the law fails to protect the public from the likes of scientology, as it largely does, the last thing it should do is become a co-conspirator to their fraud.

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