Beset as they are by clusters of invisible malevolent telepathic entities swimming around inside their heads and scrambling their neurotransmitters into a chaotic soup of hallucinatory space opera madness, Scientologists are paranoid and reactionary. This condition is worsened by the intense cult indoctrination they undergo inside the walls of their empty Ideal Orgs. This Hubbardian indoctrination has malice, revenge, and lies at its core.
In the aftermath of Scientologist Danny Masterson’s highly publicized rape trial, which resulted in a hung jury, Scientology’s lunatic STAND League took to Twitter and lashed out at the journalists and influential publications that covered the trial.
In yet more Scientology social media fraud, STAND League claims to have 137,300 followers as shown below by the red arrows:
Rolling Stone was the main target of STAND League’s post-Masterson rape trial Twitter attacks. In this attack STAND League resorted to its usual strategy of targeting companies that purchase advertising from whatever media company, or companies, Scientology is attacking. Because Rolling Stone reported on the Masterson rape trial, Rolling Stone was attacked by Scientology’s STAND League on Twitter.
Rolling Stone Senior Entertainment Editor Marlow Stern was specifically targeted in the Scientology Twitter hit. Tony Ortega, who covered the Masterson trial and live-blogged from the courthouse along with Rolling Stone and other media companies, was also included in the Twitter attack as he was quoted by Rolling Stone. Scientology hates the fact that Ortega is a professional widely-read and influential journalist on Scientology who has ties to many other prominent journalists.
Nestle’s Purina Dog Chow was targeted for advertising in Rolling Stone. In a STAND League tweet posted on December 12, 2022 Scientology used a graphic in a pathetic attempt to equate the purchase of Purina Dog Chow with the financial support of religious bigotry.
Scientology is attempting to shame Purina into stopping all advertising in Rolling Stone by claiming that its ad buys are enabling religious bigotry. This is pure and utter nonsense because what is actually involved here is free speech. To this point, Scientology calls any free speech it does like religious bigotry.
Free speech is the real issue. When Scientology’s depraved behavior is exposed and reported on, and it was in the Masterson rape trial, Scientology screams religious bigotry. This is a transparent attempt at evasion. Cults use this tactic and scream persecution when their wicked and twisted deeds are exposed by the media.
Scientology’s intent to inflict financial harm on those it deems enemies is part of Scientology’s Fair Game program. In his Fair Game policy L. Ron Hubbard states that Suppressive Persons who attack Scientology must have their incomes destroyed.
Another Hubbard Fair Game tactic at work here is to get Marlow Stern and Rolling Stone to cut ties with Tony Ortega by convincing Rolling Stone that Ortega is costing them ad revenue. Yet when we examine this Scientology Fair Game attack we see just how utterly bogus and impotent it is.
There are several problems with the Scientology STAND League anti-Purina tweet as we explain using the tweet we have annotated at the bottom with red arrows:
STAND League claims to have 137,300 followers and yet the anti-Purina Tweet had only 33 likes and 17 retweets.
This is clearly Scientology social media fraud because no Twitter account with 137,300 followers will get only 33 likes on a tweet. There are other ways to phrase this such as “bullshit” which is what Scientology engages in. However, it is not even convincing bullshit. If Scientology wants to buy phony Twitter followers from click farms, then it should buy a commensurate amount of likes so that its fraud seems consistent. One would expect at least 10% likes on this tweet which would be 13,700 likes.
When we step back and look at the big picture we see that Nestle Purina Pet Care sold $2.243 billion USD in pet food in 2022:
Assuming that the 33 likes on the anti-Purina tweet represented 33 individual Scientologists, each of whom owned a dog, a Scientology boycott of Purina Dog Chow could cost Purina perhaps as much as $1500 – $3000 per year depending upon the size of their dogs and the frequency at which these dogs consume Purina Dog Chow. This boycott could result in a net financial loss to Purina of possibly as much as .0001% of its 2022 revenues.
Conversely, if the likes and retweets were done by Sea Org members in the Swamp of Psychopaths known as Scientology’s Office of Special Affairs, which we believe is the case, then Purina will take no loss as Sea Org cannot have pets. The takeaway here is how small Scientology is and how ineffectual its threats are in real life.
In all events, pet food was in short supply in 2022 due to supply chain issues. Any Purina pet food not purchased by angry and enturbulated Scientologists would have been purchased by other pet owners. Further, we strongly believe that Purina’s parent Nestle, whose 2022 revenues are projected to exceed $90 billion USD, would somehow be able to withstand the staggering loss of income from 33 Scientologist dog owners.
Scientology’s STAND League also attacked Kraft-Heinz’s Philadelphia Cream Cheese for advertising with Rolling Stone:
Again, we see a pathetic and impotent 17 retweets and 34 likes. Heinz-Kraft’s 2021 revenues were $26 billion so, again, any losses from 34 Scientologists not consuming Philadelphia Cream Cheese could cost the company possibly as much as ~$300. As with the Scientologist-owned dogs, the cream cheese financial losses from boycotting Scientologist would depend upon their consumption of the product.
Bottom Line: Scientology’s failed attempts to attack Rolling Stone’s ad revenues was a complete and total failure and served only to expose Scientology’s social media fraud on Twitter.
Categories: Scientology social media fraud
Another OSA(Office of Smelly Asshats) fail.
Dedicated, Dauntless, Deluded.
Well done, Captain McSavage!😎
“You can’t grate cream cheese”, One of Dr Hubbard’s wise axioms from the SHBC where he was referring to the panty-waisted dilettantes who fail to enrol on Solo Nots thus ensuring humanity enters a new dark age of failing Ideal Orgs and the world entering the dwindling spiral of apathy and despond. So start OT 7 today! Tomorrow will be too late.
What lengths the Xenu believing Scientologists will go to these days!
Xenu dumped souls implanted with the special Xenu R6 implants in their soul minds, onto earth, and Scientology’s five exorcism steps OT 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7 are supposed to remove a Scientologist’s load of these Xenu implanted souls out of the Scientologists’ heads, but obviously this isn’t working. I’m glad you spotted the Scientologists are still hugely “unhandled” with their Xenu surplus souls mental “cases” problems.
Scientologists are Xenu believers, but they aren’t allowed to publicly say they believe in Xenu’s souls dumping which resulted in all human beings today being infested with these Xenu dumped surplus souls. (And when Scientologists do finally reach the OT 3 first exorcism step, they are sworn never to reveal nor explain Xenu’s misdeeds which caused all humanity to suffer from Xenu’s R6 implanting and massive surplus souls dump onto earth.)
Scientology’s beliefs are really pretty simple.
a) Past lives and future lives, and they try their Hubbard pseudo-therapy to fix up their this lifetime and past lives trauma
b) Exorcism of all the surplus souls Xenu dumped onto earth which infest all humans, and only the Scientologists have the secret effective five levels of exorcism to remove these surplus souls.
It all makes Scientologists as the real Ghostbusters of earth, and they use their Scientology Emeter gizmo, instead of the Ghostbuster’s Proton Pack.
Scientologists are really Galatic Soul Therapists/Exorcists, but they aren’t allowed to come right out and say this.
It’s also worth noting that most “average” folks roam around the interwebs without liking, subscribing, retweeting, sharing, etc. They just simply take it in and move on.
However, it stands to reason that committed scientologists who have been conditioned to believe that they are living in a “dwindling spiral” of a civilization besieged by “merchants of chaos”, “enemies”, “suppressives” and various other miscreants will feel compelled to engage with tweets such as these (and only if they were told to do so by fellow culties).
So it’s safe to say that 33/34 is the full might of committed “fighters for freedom” that the cult can muster. Which makes this all even more pathetic!
What makes this even more bizarre and frankly, outright scary, is that the cause of their outrage is NOT a trial about religious liberty. It is a RAPE trial.
The Catholic church brought a lot of shame upon its own head in this matter, but still, imagine them railing against the trial of their pedophile priests by invoking “religious freedom” in an attempt to stop these trials or their press coverage.
Increase font size on this website. If you want anyone older than 20 to read your website, please remove whatever default font settings you have set up. I have to increase my browser to 140% just to increase the text size to match any other ordinary website.
Excellent article JSwift! I’m going to copy the first sentence to quote you in my website. His satire is “reductio ad absurdum” – Scis are absurd to think their puny response to piles of money corporations will matter. COB may have piles of money, but not THAT much money and power as a cream cheese mfg.
Dear Getting Older: We have checked our blog on phone, tablet, laptop, and desktop and everything looks fine on the font size.
Hey, scientology, get your brand straight: it’s Philadelphia Cream Chow.
Given that Scientology spends about $1 per sea org member per day, to feed them, I doubt that Cult of Scientology buys any Philly Cream Cheese…
Nevertheless you must admit that, even if they can’t afford Philly Cream, this IS a cheesy religion!
We in Global Capitalism HQ wish to apologize for taking so long to get caught up on your site. The press of managing our wholly-owned subsidiary, Military-Industrial Complex, Inc., which owns defense contractors large and small, in the face of the Ukraine war and the potential conflict with China, weighs heavily on us of late.
We should note, as we frequently have, that companies have great numbers on the effectiveness of boycotts and threats like those the STAAND league is throwing out there. They know that even those threatened boycotts from highly visible groups (the Moral Majority, the NRA, or whatever) won’t actually do anything. People have the attention of hamsters and are reluctant to inconvenience themselves for more than a couple of days, even if they’re die-hard supporters of a pressure group.
It used to be that companies would have some mid-level PR person deputized to be the “director of community affairs” and would meet with these groups and listen to them whine without promising anything in return. Often, the director of community affairs didn’t actually exist, and their phone always went to voicemail, so they weren’t actually wasting more than a few token meetings on these people.
But now that there’s hard data that shows that boycotts of national brands never work, companies have dropped the pretense and don’t even bother to meet with pressure groups. They just ignore them completely. Sometimes, for a chuckle, I’ll ask the CEO of a company that has been a target of a boycott threat just how bad their quarter is going to be, what with sales collapsing and all. We enjoy a brief chuckle over that one and then get back to real business.
The concentration of companies in an industry makes boycotts even harder to be a culture warrior. Before gay marriage, one of the major airlines announced equal benefits for domestic partners, to allow their gay employees to get health care for their life partners. The far right rose up and threatened boycotts. Good luck with that, because all the airlines soon followed. If you don’t want to do business with an airline that gives equal health benefits to gay employees, get used to walking. You can’t just rent a car, because all the car rental companies do the same thing.
You note that pressure groups never target the most prestigious brands. The Religious Right never attacked Apple for supporting gay rights. They’re a logical target because their CEO is openly gay. If you decide to strike a blow for Jesus by taking away your kid’s iPhone, it’s more likely to get your kid to leave your religion than it is to cause Apple to change its behavior.
So we just love us some courageous Scientology pushback against religious bigotry.