Scientology business protip: Using a quill pen and an ink well to sign contracts shows clients you are old school — as in 17th century old school. Always sign with a flourish of your quill pen when you ink a new deal. Then break out the scotch to celebrate and tell stories about the good old days of the telegraph and biplanes. The Church of Scientology is so incredibly and hopelessly stuck in the past that it did not even get into television broadcasting until 2018. The Scientology Cult is still committed in a big way to printing magazines and selling CD ROM’s of Hubbard’s lectures.  Despite Scientology’s badly outdated practices, it wants to convince the public that what L. Ron Hubbard had to say about managing a business in the 1960’s is relevant today.  

Scientology is the proverbial “dessert topping and floor wax.” This is an old Saturday Night Live joke from a 1970’s skit in which a product tries to be all things to all people. Scientology claims to be a religion — but it also sells secular business consulting courses and many other products into the secular non-Scientology world.

The Scientology secular business program is called WISE, an acronym for the World Institute of Scientology Enterprises. Scientologist business owners are expected to the join WISE; set up a Scientology course room in their place of business; make their non-Scientology employees take Scientology courses; and pay a percentage of their income to WISE. Numerous lawsuits have been filed over the years by non-Scientology employees being forces to take Scientology classes as a condition of employment. The non-Scientology employees have consistently prevailed in court.

Scientologists can get a license from Scientology to sell business consulting services based upon Hubbard’s management tech. WISE consultants are known for targeting and preying upon non-Scientologists dentists, chiropractors, and veterinarians. WISE consultants promise doctors that their practice and income will skyrocket if they use Hubbard’s licensed techniques. Below is Scientology ad recruiting Scientologists to sell WISE courses:

The uptrending line is a typical Scientology advertising gimmick: Your sales will go straight up ad vertical if you pay Scientology a great deal of money to use L. Ron Hubbard’s business management techniques.

In its usual absurd and hyperbolic way, Scientology promotes L. Ron Hubbard’s business technology as “the first true technology of management.” This is an absolutely farcical statement when we consider the colossal trainwreck that is the Church of Scientology as managed by David Miscavige using Hubbard’s tech.

The Church of Scientology as managed by David Miscavige using L. Ron Hubbard’s business management tech has resulted in an incompetent and violent multibillion dollar trainwreck that has been played out on the world stage for all to see. Miscavige’s wasteful Ideal Org program has produced no growth in Scientology’s membership. This is because Miscavige’s brutal personal conduct and that of the Church itself has resulted in a staggering and irreversible reputational ruin.

The Church of Scientology’s Volunteer Ministers (VM’s) exist solely to generate PR for Scientology. The VM’s gained a reputation as ambulance chasers, as vultures that will literally walk over the backs of the dead and dying at disasters for a photo op. These photos appear in Scientology’s various fundraising publications.

Many of the photos of Scientology Volunteer Ministers are tone deaf and racist in nature. For example here we see the White Scientologist carrying out the 19th century “White Man’s Burden” to bring Scientology to Blacks in South Africa:

The same racist theme in seen in Haiti where only White Scientology VM’s can help:

Scientology has several secular front groups. These groups are designed to generate income for the Scientology Cult and to recruit unwary new victims.

Scientology’s Narconon business sells a dangerous, pseudoscientific, and sometimes deadly drug treatment program. As we have previously documented, the undisclosed basis of Narconon is that the megadoses of niacin are designed to knock body thetans out of chronic restimulation. Mr. Hubbard himself tell you himself from the OT IV materials posted online.

Scientology’s secular groups are supposed to be the spokes in a hub that radiate out into the communities from Scientology’s religious Orgs. As such, these secular groups are designed to recruit the unwary into the religious component of the Scientology machine.

This older Scientology diagram illustrates how the secular groups are supposed to spread the Scientology mind virus into communities:

A newer Scientology diagram explicitly states that the secular groups are designed for recruiting new victims into Scientology in order to create what the Cult calls a “New Civilization.”

How much does it cost to be a WISE member? Here is the price list: