Scientology: Save the Planet with Monthly Installment Payments!


The Scientology Cult has long peddled the falsehood that it is the “fastest growing religion in the world.” However, the International Association of Scientologists (IAS) ad shown above is clear evidence that large single donations are drying up. Hence the IAS is now begging for Scientologists to make smaller regular monthly payments. In yet another Scientology absurdity, we are told that the planet is on the brink of extinction due to the specter of Psychiatry, nuclear weapons, British bankers, Marcabs, etc. However, rest assured that your small monthly donations to the IAS can stave off the Apocalypse.

In a further sign of Scientology desperation, we find the bloated and scammy Scientology slush fund known as the IAS has set its default monthly donation to a meager $100 USD:

Back when Scientology was on its high horse, any Scientologist offering a paltry $100 donation would have been hauled into Ethics for not sacrificing their big assets to Scientology. After all, as L. Ron Hubbard had written nothing is more important than Scientology:

“Advanced Courses [in Scientology] are the most valuable service on the planet. Life insurance, houses, cars, stocks, bonds, college savings, all are transitory and impermanent… There is nothing to compare with Advanced Courses. They are infinitely valuable and transcend time itself.” – L. Ron Hubbard, Flag Mission Order 375

The IAS asking for small monthly donations suggests that middle class Scientologists have been stripped of their “life insurance, houses, cars, stocks, bonds, college savings” in previous Scientology reg cycles. The IAS is now reduced to bargaining.

If one keeps up on religious blogs relating to church finance and tax law — and I do — an increasing number churches over the past five years have been turning to fixed monthly payment programs that draft the parishioner’s bank account, PayPal account, or charge their credit card. This arrangement allows churches to have a stable monthly cash flow while avoiding the sharp seasonal fluctuations in income due to the winter holidays and summer vacations. Thus, the IAS asking for monthly donations seems to be an attempt to stabilize cash flow by encouraging Scientologists to donate smaller monthly amounts as opposed to giving bankrupting and credit-destroying massive single donations.

Nevertheless, as the IAS is believed to have cash reserves of $1.5 billion, asking for $100 per month can be seen as David Miscavige digging under the cushions on the couches of Scientologists for loose change. The IAS is truly obscene as it sits on massive cash reserves and still squeezes Scientologists like a dishrag. The IAS does not need $100 a month from anyone. If anything, the IAS needs to become financially transparent and tell Scientologists how much money it has and how much money it gives out in the form of grants, payments for real estate, etc.

There is another data point in the form above to note. The form says “Join the thousands of Scientologists who have signed up to make automatic monthly contributions to the IAS.” Again, we were led to believe that Scientology has millions of members. However, the IAS informs us that only thousands of Scientologists are donating monthly. And notice the language: Not “hundreds of thousands” or “tens of thousands” but rather only “thousands of Scientologists.”

Other facts to be gleaned from the IAS website:

1. There are new membership fees:

2. IAS uses Scientologist as commissioned salespeople. As such, they can earn 5% or 10% commissions of what they rake in from other Scientologists. What other “religion” has commission salespeople?

3. The IAS has what it calls “Honor Balls” and sells tickets to these garish events. The keynote speaker at the IAS balls is, you guessed it, David Miscavige. COB has had a lock on this gig since the 1980’s. What we want to know if he gets 10% commission as an IAS registrar. He would be entitled to 10% as a Professional IAS Field Disemminator per the rules shown above.  We believe this is where David Miscavige has raked in his personal fortune.

4. Per the contract Scientologists must sign when donating to the IAS, all donations to the IAS are nonrefundable:


5. The IAS Honor Balls are one of the few places one can see David Miscavige in his fullblown lunatic attacks on Psychiatry and his orgies of self-love:

4 comments

  1. Wow! Where to start…

    Let’s begin with the gratuitous VM HeloTECH (TM). This snap was certainly staged, if not shooped. The bird in question, a Peruvian Army MiL-171 (Russian export version of the ubiquitous Mi-8 or “Hip” in the NATO vernacular), complete with spiffy digital camo, is static; nothing’s turning and burning, nor are any of the access doors open, as they would be in a “VertRep” (vertical replenishment/cargo drop).

    That rotor would be a blur, those ball caps history, and anyone with a modicum of training would’ve NEVER operate in such close proximity to the turbine’s hot exhaust gases (note large black circular-like exhaust pipe above the chap in red). Tellingly, the starboard cargo door is closed, and significantly, there’s no crew chief evident to direct the pilot as to ground dangers; he would’ve told those idiots to stand much farther away, and to approach the bird from the rear at a 45 degree angle, so as to avoid to Hip’s frontal rotor dip. I’ve worked around Hips; they’re big, noisy, 40 year-old heavily oscillating monsters, with the primary operating rule being bystanders beware, or you’ll be readily decapitated.

    Expeditious use of such a valuable resource is a must in ANY disaster scenario, even more so at high altitude; helos struggle in high places like the Peruvian Andes, even more reason this bird would not be stationary in an LZ. The potential for mechanical failure is pervasive, so you’d NEVER shut down a bird until it was released from operations.

    Lastly, they’d be sliding pallets of water out the rear clamshell doors, not man-handling individual Costco-issue bundles of water bottles. Aside from the stationary bird, the lack of weight on the main landing gear strut – and no, the tires aren’t flat, just balloon-like – and the absence of blown dust are tell-tale signs of bogus posturing. I could go on, but this snap is so laughably fake in it’s suspension of reality, that it’s really not worth the time.

    Now then let’s look at the money. Why is Scn tithing? It does indeed appear desperate as Jeffrey notes, but even more so if you run the numbers. Let’s use 15,000 as a ballpark estimate for Scn’s non-SO membership.

    Using an average of $100/month/year, we get $1,200 per member per year as a basic tithe, or $18,000,000 total a year ($1,500,000/month); not too shabby just for “showing-up” as it were. Given that mandatory IAS membership is a requirement to sign-up for this tithing program, that’s essentially guaranteed money.

    However, it’s peanuts, when the total costs of operating the church come into play, such as lighting, heating, and rent for all those empty orgs, Flag, Big Blue, etc. as well as other ongoing recurring costs. With those outgoings in mind, what does this program say about the state of IAS cash holdings in general, or the current size and frequency of donations? Why all of a sudden a tithing requirement? There’s more under the hood here…

  2. This is a variant of the Scientology “budget” program but for non-whales. In the budget program, the rich whales put their reg on a budget of a fixed number of dollars per year. The FSM can put that to whatever programs and services they want, but the quid pro quo is that nobody from Scientology will call and ask for more money.

    In this “poor people budget” program, they pay monthly and the cult has no expenses to pay to get that cash. Miscavige can fire a bunch of incompetent FSM’s constantly raising money and not pay them commissions, giving him another 10% boost to his profit margin for these donations. He’ll drop $6 million to $8 million to his bottom line if he can fire all those nitwits.

    There’s precedent for automating away a whole team of customer facing personnel, which came when he replaced Scientology reg’s for “fresh meat” with video screens, who would never, ever do it wrong (but who also would never, ever actually sign anybody up).

  3. There was one nagging thing as to what this tithing resembled, and it hit me: it’s protection money. You don’t want hassles from the regges, youz payz your “fee” – simples. I’ll pay you “X” to stay the fluck away from me for the year… Sure, Don Vito Dave!

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