The Way to Happiness

Cult Paradox: Why Scientology Is Collapsing As a Function of Its Burgeoning Real Estate Empire

The Church of Scientology is so heavily entrenched in Downtown Clearwater that it has become harmful to the community. Scientology does not pay taxes on its huge portfolio of tax-exempt properties in Clearwater and yet demands police and fire services, uses the roads, freeways, and other public infrastructure. Worse, Scientology has driven businesses, redevelopment, and tourism dollars out of Downtown Clearwater, thus further depressing the economy and tax base of Clearwater. In 2017, Scientology even announced its brazen plans for what amounted to a hostile corporate takeover of Downtown Clearwater. The details are quite alarming as can be seen in an excellent and highly detailed article by Tracy McManus of The Tampa Bay Times.

Compounding matters, John P. Capitalist recently noted that many public Scientologists are moving out of Clearwater, Florida to escape the never-ending onslaught of Scientology regges. In  Scientology “registrars” are called “regges” and are actually salespeople. All across Scientology, the regges demand donations on a daily basis. It is very bad in Clearwater and Los Angeles where the largest concentrations of Scientologists live. John P. wrote of the public Scientologists in Clearwater:

…I’ve heard from several sources that a number of longtime members have moved out [of Clearwater] in order to avoid visits from desperate “regges” in the middle of the night ringing the doorbell and demanding cash. They’re claiming to be moving for innocuous reasons like “to be closer to the grandkids,” but apparently they’re just tired of the stress and want to deal with the cult from a distance. It’s not clear how many people are making the move, but even a few sure makes it sound like the rank-and-file (all those dentists, chiropractors and small business owners) are reaching a saturation point.

It is quite true that Scientology regges do show up unannounced at any hour of the day or night at the homes and businesses of public Scientologists to demand money. I personally know dozens of former Scientologists to whom this happened. In many cases, when the public Scientologists refused to answer their front door, the rampaging regges went into backyards and beat on the patio doors in an attempt to flush their quarry from hiding. Deplorable conduct but it is nevertheless true.

As Scientology regges are usually Sea Org members, public Scientologists who treat them rudely or object to their intrusive tactics can get in very serious trouble with the Church for doing so. These salespeople are deemed to be helping “Clear the Planet” and so their unwanted intrusions are considered justified by Church management. For this reason, public Scientologists have taken to refusing to answer their doors and have stopped answering their phones as a means to avoid the greedy Scientology fundraisers. These hapless public Scientologists choose to hide as they know the regges have complete immunity to engage in predatory and intrusive tactics that include invading the privacy and sanctity of one’s own home.

John P.’s observation of the flight of public Scientologists from Clearwater led me to create this simplified graph and the accompanying commentary:

J. Swift’s Scientology Real Estate Axiom #1: The more real estate the Cult of Scientology owns in a given area, the more public Scientologists will flee the area, refuse to accept regging phone calls, attend regging briefings, or accept unannounced and intrusive home regging visits. This “Public Scientologist Money Flight” occurs as a function of an ever-increasing number of Scientology fundraising personnel occupying buildings that contain competing Orgs, Scientology front groups, and Scientology fundraising programs.

In practice, each new piece of Scientology real estate becomes a standalone business operating unit within the Scientology corporate structure. These standalone operating units are called “Orgs” or “Social Betterment Groups” and each has its own weekly fundraising quotas.  Scientology also has fundraising programs for both current and planned programs. These fundraising activities also have weekly financial quotas. All of these separate business operating units result in intense competition within Scientology for a shrinking pool of donations.

TAX EXEMPT STATUS + ENDLESS FUNDRAISING = SCIENTOLOGY REAL ESTATE EMPIRE

As a condition of receiving tax exemption, US tax law requires religious tax exempt organizations to spend money in the public benefit. For example, if Catholic churches  provide free services to the homeless this is seen as helping to reduce the tax burden on the US Government. Hence, tax exemption is viewed as a form of exchange. L. Ron Hubbard, however, taught that giving anyone anything for free was wrong. Hubbard said charity was “rewarding a downstat” as it rewarded people for doing nothing. Hubbard’s 1950’s view of poverty was that poor people were lazy; did not want to work; were worthless; and only wanted free welfare checks and handouts.

Hubbard’s 1950 view of poverty became Scientology doctrine. Given Scientology’s doctrinal refusal to engage in charity, the only things Scientology can actually spend its money on are real estate, self-promotion, and financing its perpetual state of warfare with those people and groups it deems enemies. This spending plan results in the Scientology we see today: A self-aggrandizing, angry, paranoid, and hostile cultic group characterized by its bloated real estate holdings and its insane and lavishly-financed wars against former members, critics, the media, and those governments that oppose Scientology and correctly see it as a for-profit business.

THE PARADOX IN WHICH THE SCIENTOLOGY CULT IS TRAPPED

The endless purchasing of real estate by Scientology is paradoxically and ultimately self-destructive as it acts to exponentially increase fundraising pressures amongst competing Scientology business units while simultaneously driving membership and donations out of the Church. Scientology incessantly boasts that the growth in square footage it owns proves Scientology is growing. However, this is a misdirection. While Scientology’s real estate portfolio is indeed growing, the Cult quietly sweeps the real story of its shocking membership decline under the rug.

Scientology’s Ideal Org program was a debacle which proved that the more real estate Scientology purchases and accumulates, the fewer members it will have. The Ideal Org scam drove untold thousands of people out of Scientology due to incessant fundraising demands. Likewise, the Basics book campaign was a giant $100,000,000+ cynical money grab that saw legions of people leave Scientology.

The pointless accumulation of real estate by Scientology is a function of its tax exemption and L. Ron Hubbard’s policy that endless fundraising must occur. What Hubbard called “new money” must be brought into the Scientology each week. The smallest possible portion of this “new money” is spent paying expenses. Hubbard mandated that the remaining money be locked away in untouchable reserves. Hubbard purposely designed Scientology to generate large cash reserves. This is why Scientology’s main focus is on money. Because the IRS does not allow excessive capital accumulation by tax exempt entities, however, Scientology spends part of its reserves on the items described above.

Scientology also spends the minimum amount of money possible on its Sea Org labor force. Sea Org members live far below the US poverty level of $13,860 in annual income for an individual. Legally speaking, Sea Org members are not employees and are classed as religious volunteers. As such, they receive a meager weekly stipend of $50, usually less, plus room and board. Scientology’s goal is to spend the least possible amount of money on Sea Org members while demanding the maximum amount of production. Sea Org members routinely work 80-100 hours per week. A Sea Org work week is six and one half days in duration.  One half day is given to do laundry and clean one’s berthing area. Scientology’s slave labor program also applies to the child labor Scientology uses in the Sea Org.

FLAG LAND BASE

As an illustration of my premise, Scientology’s Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida has numerous Orgs, Scientology front groups, and  fundraising programs that compete with each other daily for an ever-shrinking volume of donations. Here is what a Scientologist can be expected to donate to, or pay for, on a trip to Flag Land Base; this list is not exhaustive:

1. Flag Service Organization — Mandatory donations for auditing services and courses
2. The International Association of Scientologists — Scientology’s multibillion dollar slush fund
3. Lodgings at one of the several Scientology-owned hotels
4. Meals at one of the several Scientology-owned restaurants
5. Citizens Commission on Human Rights — The rabid anti-Psychiatry component of Scientology
6. The Way to Happiness Foundation — A Scientology Front Group
7. Youth for Human Rights — A Scientology Front Group
8. United for Human Rights — A Scientology Front Group
9. Foundation for a Drug Free World — A Scientology Front Group
10. Applied Scholastics — A Scientology Front Group
11. Criminon — A Scientology Front Group
12. Volunteer Ministers — A Scientology Front Group
13. The Basics Book Campaign — Fundraising to put L. Ron Hubbard’s books into libraries
14. The Ideal Org Campaign — Fundraising to buy more real estate called “Ideal Orgs”
15. The Archival Project — Fundraising to store L. Ron Hubbard’s works in nuclear proof vaults
16. Advanced Payments — Scientologists are asked to donate money now future services later
17. The L. Ron Hubbard Hall — a planned auditorium in Clearwater

MONASTERY SCIENTOLOGY

Monastery Scientology is a term I coined in 2008 when I predicted that Scientology will be drained of its middle class parishioners and become a haven for only the wealthiest of Scientologists who can afford to stay in the game. Monastery Scientology is becoming inevitable as only the wealthiest and most status-obsessed Scientologists will remain in the Cult of Scientology.

At present, the Cult is in a Palace of Versailles phase in which wealthy Scientologists vie for David Miscavige’s attention and favor as signified by a competition for larger and gaudier IAS statuses and trophies. These statuses and trophies require wealthy Scientologists to increase ever-larger amounts of cash to Scientology.

The prime example of failure in this pointless Palace of Versailles status race was Scientologist Richie Acunto. After donating ten million dollars to Scientology, his Survival Insurance company went bankrupt. And to his ignominy — and that of Scientology —  Richie’s ten million dollar IAS trophy languished in a storage locker. When Richie failed to pay rent on the storage locker, its contents were sold at auction. Richie’s $10,000,000 trophy was sold on eBay to the highest bidder. The Church of Scientology was likely the highest bidder as the Acunto trophy has never been seen since it was sold on eBay. Again, another inconvenient matter swept under the rug. Richie Acunto has been long forgotten by Scientology.

This Palace of Versailles phase is characterized by a never-ending series of useless galas awash in flimsily contrived stories of imagined Scientology global triumphs, wildly inflated and nonsensical statistics, and garish trophies and awards. One of Scientology’s more patently absurd claims is that the mere distribution of its insipid Way to Happiness booklet reduced crime in Colombia by 50 percent.

In the terse no-nonsense language of American corporate life these events can be correctly described as circle jerks.

What Scientology “Social Betterment” Groups are Really All About

At Scientology.org, the Church’s “social betterment & humanitarian” programs, the so-called “secular programs” are listed:

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These eight secular groups are:
1. The Way to Happiness
2. Applied Scholastics
3. Criminon
4. Narconon
5. The Truth About Drugs Education Campaign
6. United for Human Rights
7. Citizens Commission for Human Rights (CCHR)
8. Freedom Magazine

In this article we briefly examine each of these groups and show what they are actually about. The first thing to know is that the Church’s so-called secular social betterment groups is that they are all licensed by the Association for Better Living and Education (ABLE). The Church says of ABLE and its relationship to the social betterment groups:

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Where is ABLE in the Church of Scientology International (CSI) food chain? According to a diagram the Church gave the IRS, ABLE is one of the ten core “sectors” of CSI. I have placed a red star next to ABLE in the CSI sector diagram:

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To digress, we note that the legally nonexistent Sea Org is also shown as one the core sectors of Scientology. We leave this discrepancy for another time and place. The point is that ABLE is a core sector of CSI whose purpose is to license and manage Scientology’s secular social betterment groups.

The ostensible purpose of the secular social betterment groups is to put LRH technology into the world. In actual practice, these groups have five main purposes:

• To serve as additional Church profit centers charged with selling Scientology products and services into nonreligious markets.

• To make highly irresponsible and grossly exaggerated claims of the efficacy of Scientology’s technology.

• To recruit new members into the Church of Scientology.

• To generate PSA’s, photo ops, and PR value for the Church.

• To sell incredibly overpriced booklets, DVD’s, and courses.

The social betterment groups are nonprofit licensees of ABLE, and, ABLE is licensed by CSI. Thus, whatever monies these groups collect is tax-free and a percentage is paid each week uplines to CSI, RTC, and CST.

Narconon is the big moneymaker in the social betterment groups. While some disagree with my figures, my estimate of Narconon’s gross income is $100,000,000 based upon 2012 numbers. Of course, it is easy to project this figure to decrease significantly based upon lawsuits and increasing public exposure of the direct connection between Scientology and Narconon. For instance, Dr. Hanan Islam’s American Health and Education Clinics LLC of Compton, California operated under license from Narconon and we can now see how this worked out for the good doctor.

The Foundation for a Drug Free World is a Scientology nonprofit that gives out free educational kits to educators. However there is a catch: Educators must agree to allow the Church of Scientology to use their classrooms and students for PR purposes. Educators must also track statistics and report them to the Foundation for a Drug Free World.

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Critics have said that the Foundation for a Drug Free World is a crypto-Narconon recruiting vehicle. This allegation arises because the Foundation’s materials present Hubbard’s theories that drugs are stored in fat cells. I agree with these criticisms because the Foundation for a Drug Free World is operated by Scientologists whose task is to target educators in public schools who teach to children eleven years of age and older. The goal of the Foundation is to get into public schools and make presentations to teachers and students. Once these Scientologists are close to at risk youth they can easily target kids and troubled parents with the message of Narconon and its astounding success rate.

Narconon is well-known and well documented. The remaining entities in the social betterment groups are not. Nevertheless, once one examines the respective websites of each of these lesser known social betterment groups it readily becomes clear that their sole purpose is to sell booklets and DVD’s that have a gigantic profit margin.

We begin with Youth for Human Rights (YHRI). This group was founded in 2001 by Scientologist Mary Shuttleworth in coordination with the CSI’s so-called Human Rights Office. In 2008, YHRI was subsumed into a parent group called United for Human Rights (UHR). The purpose of UHR, YHRI, and their dozen or so spin-offs are to promote public awareness of the UN’s 1947 Universal Declaration of Human Rights. The extraordinary hypocrisy of a Scientology group promoting human rights aside, UHR is a non-statistically significant factor in Scientology given its 2013 gross receipts of $84,345.00. The headquarters of United for Human Rights/Youth for Human Rights is a post office box in a shipping and postage retail store in Los Feliz, California.

Let us assume a hypothetical Youth for Human Rights event where 2,000 booklets and 200 DVD’s are distributed. What would that cost us? The shopping cart informs us of the prices:

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The Way to Happiness has the same pricing structure:

• Sell booklets for $1.50 each
• Sell DVD’s for $15.00 each

Keep in mind that Scientology is a commission-based sales organization so many people are taking a cut of the action when social betterment booklets and DVD’s are sold. Seen from this perspective, Scientology is just Amway with engrams.

The Way to Happiness sells its booklets – which likely cost less than fifteen cents each to produce – in bundles of twelve for $18.00. Let us suppose you were an OT in a lower ethics condition. OSA might suggest that you donate for 1,000 bundles for a total of 12,000 booklets plus 200 DVD’s. In this scenario, you would be looking at a wallet-destroying bill for $15,700:

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Applied Scholastics International sells Hubbard-based learning materials that emphasize phonics and the use of dictionaries. This is how I learned to read in Los Angeles public schools way back in the Mesozoic era. Indeed, Noah Webster published his first dictionary to help people “word clear” in 1828. But let us allow Applied Scholastics its conceit that we are all hopelessly stupid and cannot “learn how to learn” without its help. Based upon this premise, it is going to cost money to learn how to learn. Applied Scholastics is associated with Scientology-based private schools, or “academies” as the Church fancies them. Gross receipts were about four million dollars for Applied Scholastics in 2013.

Just for the sake of talking, let us suppose you were a Scientology-friendly movie star who opened a Scientology “academy” and needed to buy 100 copies each of eight of the many books offered by Applied Scholastics. This would be a $42,285.00 bite:

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In addition to the shopping list above, your academy would need to shell out more money to ABLE to pay for licensing fees, teacher training, and far more books and dictionaries than shown in the shopping list above. And the parents of the students have to pay tuition. It is easy to see how you, as a movie star, would pull the plug on your money-losing academy after your kids became fully and mystically self-actualized and no longer needed, say, a conventional wog college education.

The Reverend Doctor Alfreddie Johnson’s now defunct World Literacy Crusade operated under license to Applied Scholastics and we can also now see how this worked out for him.

Oddly enough, Galaxy Press – which sells Hubbard’s fictional works – has its own literacy campaign and offers a literacy book for $1.00. In a future story I will reveal how a prominent WISE group also sponsors a literacy campaign, inveigles its members into donating funds for this program, and the uses this program for disingenuous, misleading, and self-serving PR. It is all very cynical and Alfreddie Johnson is in the mix.

We next enter Crazy Town aka the viciously anti-psychiatry Citizen’s Commission on Human Rights. CCHR basically produces and sells DVD’s that expose the menace of psychiatry and Big Pharma. In my next hypothetical example, I am a high-minded Scientology whale who wants my staff to do a mass-mailer to 1,200 opinion leaders in in Congress, the arts, education, and private industry. I order 1,200 copies of the my three favorite CCHR DVD’s and write a check for $113,940.00:

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Criminon, a Scientology group that appears to be on the wane and receives virtually no coverage even with the Church, sells $85.00 courses to inmates. If one were to donate 100 courses it would be $8500:

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Referring back to an earlier point, the social betterment programs also make highly irresponsible and grossly exaggerated claims of the efficacy of Scientology’s technology. A collage of such claims:

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Clockwise from top left: The Way to Happiness, Narconon Fresh Start, World Literacy Crusade, Applied Scholastics, Applied Scholastics

The irony of these claims is that if any of them were true then no one would actually need Scientology auditing because the much less expensive social betterment programs could handle the major problems of drugs, crime, violence, and illiteracy by simply having people read booklets or watch DVD’s. There would be no need for the $360,000 per person Church cure.

If, as World Literacy Crusade claimed, 87% of participants gave up gangs and drugs after learning how to read, then the world’s answer to street crime would be to have courts order gang members and drug users into the World Literacy Crusade franchises after they were arrested. There, they would read books, clear up misunderstood words, and then give up their lives of drugs and gang-banging. This is patently absurd to the point of derision. Likewise, The Way to Happiness’ claim that it reduced crime in Colombia by 50% is an outright lie.

Scientology’s social betterment programs often simplistic and Scientology-centered solutions to complex problems – and they do so in order to make obscene profit margins from booklets, DVD’s, and courses. As with everything in the Church of Scientology system, it is all deceptive and misleading.

The actual “End Phenomenon” of Scientology’s social betterment programs is simply a series of online shopping carts where one purchases incredibly overpriced products that have little or no efficacy.

The Paris Terror Attacks & Scientology Disaster Capitalism

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Scientology Sea Org Captain David Miscavige in his Scientology War Room

The Church of Scientology has many cynical ways of making money. Following the terrorist attacks in Paris, Scientology is now attempting to make hundreds of thousands of dollars in France by selling a particular piece of its literature at obscene profit margins. Further, Scientology plans to send its notorious Volunteer Ministers into France in an attempt to recruit traumatized and vulnerable people into joining Scientology and handing over large sums of money to pay for super-expensive Scientology services.

This is disaster capitalism at its worst. Moreover, this pattern has been repeated over and over by the Church of Scientology following natural disasters, mass shootings, and other terror attacks. Scientology preys upon the vulnerable when horrific things occur.

The Church of Scientology’s campaign against France will appear to begin modestly enough with the Church inflicting upon the French a truly insipid little book called The Way to Happiness.

Written L. Ron Hubbard, the pamphlet is nothing more than a list of innocuous bromides that the Church of Scientology itself will not abide by. For example:

  • Don’t do anything illegal.
  • Do not harm a person of good will.
  • Safeguard and improve your environment.
  • Do not steal.
  • Be worthy of trust.

According to Mike Rinder writing in a recent blog post, a copy of The Way to Happiness costs about ten cents to produce. However, the Church sells these pamphlets to its own members in a pack of twelve that costs $18.00.

This is $1.50 each and so the Church is making an obscene 93.3% gross margin on its 1400% mark up.

The Church of Scientology wants its own members to donate $1.50 each for 250,000 copies to distribute in France. This is $375,000.00. The net profit will be a tidy $350,000.

The Church of Scientology has made preposterous claims for this banal phamplet — including the ridiculous claim that The Way to Happiness reduced crime by 50% in Colombia:

 …Colombian police have delivered Way to Happiness seminars to 3 million citizens and booklets to 20 percent of the population. Crime rates have dropped by 50 percent and Colombian tourism has increased to a level beyond any other Latin American nation. According to senior Colombian police officials, much of the credit for this change goes to The Way to Happiness. (Scientology website)

The Church of Scientology ridiculously claims credit for reducing crime in Colombia. No credit goes to the Colombian government or military for waging a brutal and very costly war against heavily armed and violent drug cartels. Such is the vainglorious and deceptive propaganda of Scientology.

By way of contrast, the well-known Christian-themed “Chick tracts” sell for .16 cents each. These often lurid and viciously anti-Catholic tracts spread the “Hellfire and damnation” message of evangelical Christianity:

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Due to their low cost, however, over 700,000,000 Chick tracts have been sold during the last forty years.

The Jehovah’s Witnesses are the world leaders in low cost religious literature. According to the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, its 2012 and 2013 production of low cost literature was staggering:

In 2012 the printeries operated by Jehovah’s Witnesses produced more than 1.3 billion magazines and 80 million books and Bibles

The Watchtower, our principal journal, is printed in over 210 languages and is the most widely circulated magazine in the world. Each 16-page issue has a printing of some 45,000,000 copies.

Awake! the companion magazine of The Watchtower—and second only to it in circulation—is printed in 99 languages. Each issue has a printing of some 44,000,000.What Does the Bible Really Teach? is a 224-page softcover book specifically designed to help its reader understand the basic teachings of the Bible. Since 2005, more than 214 million copies have been printed in over 240 languages.

The wealthy Church of Scientology owns two large digital printing facilities and so there is no reason this “Church” cannot give away free .10 cent copies of The Way to Happiness if distribution of this pamphlet is so vital to humanity.

At the bare minimum, Scientology could sell The Way to Happiness at cost. But it will not do so.

What puts the lie to the entire farce that is The Way to Happiness is that Scientology marks this product up 1400% and sell it at a whopping 93.3% profit margin.

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We have covered Church of Scientology profit margins here on the Scientology Money Project. For example, the e-meter is sold at a 385% mark up over cost. And as we recently covered in a guest column at Tony Ortega’s Underground Bunker, the  costs of Scientology auditing services are astronomical.

The Church of Scientology has never sold anything at cost because it is driven by greed. There is no humanitarian impulse whatsoever in any part of Scientology; it is all a soulless moneymaking scheme led by a narcissistic and violent con man named David Miscavige.

And now the Scientology Volunteer Ministers plan to descend on Paris in the wake of an historic terror attack in order to inflict upon Parisians 250,000 copies of an insufferable pablum-filled pamphlet called The Way to Happiness. 

The last thing France needs at this time is an insane American religious cult hawking its wares on the streets of Paris. Indeed, The Way to Happiness is nothing more than a ploy, a cynical sales tool Scientology distributes on the streets in an attempt to inveigle highly traumatized and vulnerable people into joining Scientology and  purchasing expensive Scientology services.

Make no mistake about it: The Church of Scientology is already carrying out its plans to exploit the pain and suffering of the French people in order to promote and sell Scientology in France.

To add to this moral outrage, the Church of Scientology is presently on trial in Belgium for fraud and extortion at the time of this writing.

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Scientology watchers are also expecting the Church of Scientology to send in its Volunteer Ministers to Paris for PR purposes.

Perhaps the most cynical and phony of all Scientology front groups, the “Volunteer Ministers” program was ostensibly created to be Scientology’s version of the Red Cross, i.e. a a first responder disaster relief organization. In actuality, the Volunteer Ministers (VM’s) program is simply another profit center for the Scientology moneymaking scam.

When 911 occured, Scientology VM’s literally walked over the backs of the dead to get PR photos for use in raising money. In one particularly offensive PR photo used in for fundraising, the Church of Scientology faded the real 911 first responders into nondescript black and white figures while colorizing one of its Volunteer Ministers in his distinctive yellow jacket:

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Within hours of the Virginia Tech mass shooting in 2007, the VM’s, once again, walked over the backs of the dead to pitch a tent in order to get photo ops and raise money.

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Scientology’s Volunteer Minister’s tent was set up on the Virginia Tech campus within hours of the mass shooting.

The bodies of the Virginia Tech dead hadn’t even been moved as the campus was a crime scene under intense investigation. But the VM’s were there like vultures taking PR photos. The VM’s were already asking for money.

This same craven pattern of Scientology Volunteer Minister disaster capitalism occured with the great earthquake in Haiti, Hurricane Katrina, the 9.0 earthquake in Japan, the great Indonesian tsunami, and every other mass murder, natural disaster, terrorist attack, and even celebrity deaths since 2001.

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On a wholly uninvited basis, Scientology cultist John Travolta and his wife Kelly Preston used their connections to make a  Scientology-glorifying PR flight into Haiti following the great earthquake there in 2010. With the crowded airport at Port-Au-Prince desperately needed for first responders, doctors, medical supplies, field hospitals, food and water, and emergency  rescue teams specializing in extracting victims from rubble, Travolta bumped these other flights so that he could get a landing slot for his private jet. Cultist Travolta and his fellow Scientologists made sure plenty of PR photos were taken of the actor for use in Scientology fundraising.

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Never mind that these Scientology Volunteer Ministers have absolutely no relationship whatsoever to the tragedy or disaster, their craven greed for money and PR compels them to travel uninvited to inject themselves and their unwanted Scientology “touch assists” to victims.

In one singularly bizarre attempt at PR, Scientology VM’s inexplicably assembled and conducted a parade of hapless victims amidst the rubble and devastation of post-quake Haiti:

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Scientology Volunteer Ministers do four things at the scene of any disaster, massacre, or tragedy:

The Church of Scientology immediately begins raising money to send its VM’s to the scene. Although Scientology is wealthy it will not spend any of its own money to pay for transportation, shelter, or food for its own VM’s.The Church of Scientology will never spend any of its own money unless it is on lawyers or for some other self-serving purpose such as television commercial during the Super Bowl.

Once the VM’s arrive at the scene, they make their way to the head of the supply lines distributing food, water, and medical supplies to the victims. The VM’s do not pay for these supplies; they simply want the PR photos of showing them handing out emergency supplies. These PR photos create the impression that Scientology paid for these supplies:

Scientology VM’s deliver “touch assists” to victims. These touch assists cost the Church nothing and while gaining more PR photos of VM’s appearing to help:

The Church of Scientology sends teams of videographers to make videos for use in PR and fundraising. In the photo below, Scientology videographers can be seen filming a Scientology VM holding a baby:

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The public needs to be made aware of Scientology’s cynical disaster capitalism conducted under the facade of humanitarianism.

The Church of Scientology has long used the word “humanitarian” to promote itself and its front groups.

When it comes to Scientology, however, the use of the word “humanitarian”should serve as a red flag that Scientology is once again looking to make an enormous cash profit on human suffering.