The Church of Scientology’s Four Quadrillion Year Refund Policy

While researching Scientology Inc.’s byzantine and notoriously dishonest refund policy — and this will be the subject of several future posts — I came across a singularly bizarre contractual condition to which one must agree to prior to receiving their refund. This condition is even stranger than the indestructible, yet nonexistent, Scientology obelisks.

Essentially, upon receiving a refund one indemnifies the Church against all claims for, “damages, injuries, or losses sustained of any kind or nature, whether known or unknown, which I may have from the beginning of time up to and including this day.” As far as I can determine, this excerpt from a Flag contract is embodied in all Scientology Inc. refunds:

refund.1

Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard dated the beginning of time to four quadrillion years ago. Therefore, by agreeing to hold Scientology Inc. harmless for all of your Scientology-caused injuries — known or unknown — since the beginning of time, you have signed a singular contract that specifies an amount of time far greater than the age of our universe.

At 13.8 billion years of age, our universe is a youngster compared to this contract. And just so you can see the number written out, four quadrillion looks like this:

4.Q

And, oh by the way, the four quadrillion year waiver is embodied in a nasty Scientology Inc. document ominously entitled, Release, Waiver, and Writ of Expulsion.

When you ask for a refund, not only do you hold Scientology Inc. harmless since the beginning of time, you also get a Writ of Expulsion and may never again receive any services from the Church. Additionally, by giving you a refund the Church refuses to admit any wrongdoing on its part. Here is the document:

9 comments

  1. I’m sad they didn’t have this in 1972 when I joined, because I would have never signed it, not even in 5 quadrillion years!

    One more disappointment vis-a-vis $cientology…

  2. Don’t remember signing anything like this is ’87 when I got my small amount back. However, I would have signed anything at that time to end cycle. Then in late ’10 they had no problem taking more money from me and letting me join back up. I did sign a long one, probably like this. But then I didn’t care as, I had no money on account and no plans for putting any there.

  3. Hi Jeff, Excellent article. Between May 17th 1985 and somewhere in Jan 91, I read this many times and it did not look like that one. Seems it may have changed ~ church paying lawyers big bucks to cover their ass. The whole problem of course is no results (spiritual services) are being delivered. ’85 to early 90’s AOLA kept up with it’s refund line – or so I thought – could be OSA was taking at least some ‘hot’ ones off the lines. What I saw back then I’m sure only scratched the surface.
    Aug 2000 for my birthday I paid FSO 12,322$ which was supposed to be Special Income in the case I was not approved for FSO since I was a SO member on LOA.
    Well I didn’t get approved and FSO did not return the ‘Special Income’.
    March 2002 I paid the balance for 100 hours of NOTs. No I didn’t get NOTS. I got feed-up!
    Gave the left over to the husband I left to handle his upset with me divorcing him ~ so it only cost me $ 65,122.26 to go free ~ much cheaper then the bridge route…. 🙂

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