Where Are the Church of Scientology Obelisks?

In its second 1993 submissions to the IRS, the Church of Scientology stated that, among other projects, the archival Church of Spiritual Technology, “also has firm plans to construct many large indestructible obelisks in different parts of the world with the express purpose of preserving for all future generations of man, the precepts from the book The Way to Happiness by L. Ron Hubbard.”

oblesiks'The world has yet to see even one of the planned twelve indestructible Scientology obelisks.

What happened? There were firm plans in place.

As of 2012 CST had a book value of $447,192,921 so it’s not like there is no money for the obelisks.

Perhaps the Church of Scientology went astray when it failed to build the planned Way to Happiness obelisks? I say this because the Ideal Orgs have not helped.

A dozen dramatic obelisks placed in the major cities of the world would surely have attracted far more attention than the bland and boring Ideal Orgs.

Imagine the stunning visual impact of magnificently lighted Scientology obelisks at night!

Alas, we have all been deprived of the grandeur that was to be.

Surely had these structures been erected at the principal byways of the world the social decline would have been arrested. But no. The obelisks have yet to be built and so the dwindling spiral consumes even the Church of Scientology itself.

I wonder if the IRS noticed that the Church reneged on this plan.

Other CST items of interest are listed in the PDF below. For example, we learn that CST manufactured an estimated 1,800,000 stainless steel plates and then stored them inside 15,500 titanium time capsules. These capsules were then wrapped in thermal covers, stored on special racks, and placed in vaults that are impervious to all but a direct nuclear strike.

CST candidly admits in this document that its vaults will be vulnerable to looters and vandals in a post-apocalyptic future. Even CST recognizes that future survivors will likely melt down the metals in the vaults to make utilitarian items such as coins, forks, knives, axes, tent pegs, and even swords and shields. Perhaps CST stores multiple sets of everything in its vaults in the hope of future survivors melting down most of the Tech while keeping at least one set intact. In such a case, future survivors of a nuclear holocaust can repeatedly touch the charred walls of ruined buildings while doing TR’s.

21 comments

  1. $10 million dollars for storage racks alone. Yeah, no OCD going on here. These people are beyond insane. And all so they can preserve the most illogical tripe ever written and spoken for all of eternity. I just don’t have words for the magnitude of crazy that CST represents.

    1. But Chris these are stainless steel storage racks over which are placed Kevlar dust covers. It is just like putting a fitted plaid cover over a gleaming new chrome toaster. Only it is better because Scientology spends so much money on its elaborate cultic appliances and storage facilities.

      1. BTW, The Gadsden Times of Dec 24, 1993 carried a story about Scientology and its obelisk building program.

        The Church bragged back then of its TWTH-engraved obelisks that, “even a wandering savage will be able to understand and apply these principles.” The question here is why the Church of Scientology will not apply TWTH principles to itself before obnoxiously enforcing them on others who don’t want them either.

  2. Jeezus, 75 fucking records PER LECTURE??? What do they spin at, 780rpm? And they expect some post-apocolyptic people to sit around and change 75 disks to listen to the Fatman blather for 90 minutes? And they are blowing $17 Million on that. Insane.

    1. Gus, you are so incredibly ungrateful as to be completely wog.

      Mr. Miscavige and CST have taken exquisite measures to ensure that your post-apocalyptic needs are provided for — and yet instead of saying “thank you sir!” all you do is carp about having to change records on your solar-powered CST record player!

  3. Mr. OTVIII,

    IS CST renting bunk beds spaces at their underground bunkers?

    I feel that I must secure my eternity before the mass MARCAB landings take place.

    Please help me preserve myself for all eternity.

  4. A thought: Since back then, The Way to Happiness has been put on the secular ABLE side of the business, so that they can slip it into schools and other places where religious material would be blocked. Perhaps huge obelisks would be a little too public for even Scientology to try deny the connection?

  5. Pictographs of the TWTH. They will be awful if like any of the other Co$ illustrations. I hope they have not started yet, so the Co$ will fall before that crap is preserved in stainless steel for future historians to sort out.

  6. Now were talking. Naturally, Dave’s head will be fitted to the top of the obleisk. Too bad he only has one head. Oh wait, I’m thinking pike. ~ Nevermind.

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